Teaching Children the True Meaning of War
When I was at my brother's ward this weekend in Boston, the Relief Society lesson discussed a quote from Emmeline B. Wells about protecting children from violence and teaching them what wars are for. It discussed how we shouldn't let our sons see war as a game or something fun, but also teach them that if they need to take up arms to protect their families, homes, religion or other people, that they should do so without grumbling and as warriors of the cross. It made me think.
In the end, I think where I stand with it in regards to my children is that if they are playing a fighting game, I will only be worried if, when I ask them what they're fighting for, they cannot give a satisfactory reason. I will not be worried at all if my sons are playing a battle and when I ask them who they're fighting and why, they tell me, "These people are trying to take over our houses, and we need to protect our children." If they tell me, "We don't like these people," and then can't give me a reason why, then I'll be worried. When I was a nanny, the boys liked to play fighting games. I always tried to steer the game such that they were protecting someone or something or they were rescuing someone or something. As Emmeline B. Wells clarified, there are things on this earth that are worth fighting for and worth dying for. As Samwise Gamgee tells Frodo Baggins, they have something to hold onto, and it's "that there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo... and it's worth fighting for." (J.R.R Tolkien, The Two Towers). The world that John Lennon describes in Imagine is actually quite frightening. Because if you have nothing to kill or die for-- if there's nothing that dear to you--then there's really nothing that's worth living for.
So, I started to ask myself, "What really taught me that war is not a game?" There are a lot of things that have taught me that, but what was it, as a child, that first made me realize that. Interestingly enough, it was not a pacifistic entity. The first time I remember it really striking me was when my Mom read us Indian in the Cupboard. In the book, a little boy has a cupboard that, when you lock it and then open it, will turn action figures alive. The boy puts a little Indian in the cupboard. When he opens it, he meets Little Bear, a real live Iroquois Indian. After playing with Little Bear for awhile, his friend thinks it would be cool to bring a cowboy to life and have them fight. In comes Boone. Little Bear wounds Boone, and Boone is possibly going to die. In the end, they manage to find an action figure of a World War I medic named Tommy who can save Boone's life. But that was the first time that I guess it came to me that people really do die in battles. Probably because that's what Omri, the little boy, learns from this experience. I know it's odd. But that's when I learned that.
Another story that comes to mind on this topic is one I read in 7th Grade called, "A Gun Without a Bang." It's a short story, but in it, they have invented a gun that doesn't have a bang. In fact, it just vaporizes whatever it shoots. Unfortunately, the evil wolf-dog-things don't stop attacking after this gun has been shot, because they don't realize that the guy is a threat. The man eventually abandons his bangless gun for a bow and arrow so that they wolf-dog-things see the other wolf-dog-things suffer and leave him alone. This isn't super-related, but it does show that sometimes the best thing is not to kill, but to be known as dangerous so no fighting happens.
Anyways, I think we need to make sure out children know what are and what are not good reasons to go to war, and instead of avoiding any war or fighting in our children's exposure, let them learn these things. It's the same idea as when my mom talks about a mother she knew once that didn't let her kids watch Dumbo, because she came in once and found her young children crying that Dumbo's mommy was taken away. I think you should be much more concerned if you come in and find that your children find it to be no concern that Dumbo's mom has been taken away. It is good for them to feel empathy for the elephant. It is good for them to feel that there are things worth fighting for.
In the end, I think where I stand with it in regards to my children is that if they are playing a fighting game, I will only be worried if, when I ask them what they're fighting for, they cannot give a satisfactory reason. I will not be worried at all if my sons are playing a battle and when I ask them who they're fighting and why, they tell me, "These people are trying to take over our houses, and we need to protect our children." If they tell me, "We don't like these people," and then can't give me a reason why, then I'll be worried. When I was a nanny, the boys liked to play fighting games. I always tried to steer the game such that they were protecting someone or something or they were rescuing someone or something. As Emmeline B. Wells clarified, there are things on this earth that are worth fighting for and worth dying for. As Samwise Gamgee tells Frodo Baggins, they have something to hold onto, and it's "that there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo... and it's worth fighting for." (J.R.R Tolkien, The Two Towers). The world that John Lennon describes in Imagine is actually quite frightening. Because if you have nothing to kill or die for-- if there's nothing that dear to you--then there's really nothing that's worth living for.
So, I started to ask myself, "What really taught me that war is not a game?" There are a lot of things that have taught me that, but what was it, as a child, that first made me realize that. Interestingly enough, it was not a pacifistic entity. The first time I remember it really striking me was when my Mom read us Indian in the Cupboard. In the book, a little boy has a cupboard that, when you lock it and then open it, will turn action figures alive. The boy puts a little Indian in the cupboard. When he opens it, he meets Little Bear, a real live Iroquois Indian. After playing with Little Bear for awhile, his friend thinks it would be cool to bring a cowboy to life and have them fight. In comes Boone. Little Bear wounds Boone, and Boone is possibly going to die. In the end, they manage to find an action figure of a World War I medic named Tommy who can save Boone's life. But that was the first time that I guess it came to me that people really do die in battles. Probably because that's what Omri, the little boy, learns from this experience. I know it's odd. But that's when I learned that.
Another story that comes to mind on this topic is one I read in 7th Grade called, "A Gun Without a Bang." It's a short story, but in it, they have invented a gun that doesn't have a bang. In fact, it just vaporizes whatever it shoots. Unfortunately, the evil wolf-dog-things don't stop attacking after this gun has been shot, because they don't realize that the guy is a threat. The man eventually abandons his bangless gun for a bow and arrow so that they wolf-dog-things see the other wolf-dog-things suffer and leave him alone. This isn't super-related, but it does show that sometimes the best thing is not to kill, but to be known as dangerous so no fighting happens.
Anyways, I think we need to make sure out children know what are and what are not good reasons to go to war, and instead of avoiding any war or fighting in our children's exposure, let them learn these things. It's the same idea as when my mom talks about a mother she knew once that didn't let her kids watch Dumbo, because she came in once and found her young children crying that Dumbo's mommy was taken away. I think you should be much more concerned if you come in and find that your children find it to be no concern that Dumbo's mom has been taken away. It is good for them to feel empathy for the elephant. It is good for them to feel that there are things worth fighting for.
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