40 Bags in 40 Days: Day 39

We are so close to going back to my old blog.  And I know that today's will sound weird, but this is actually what I planned.  Today, I decluttered my mind.

Some things have happened with my interactions with other people that have really been weighing down on me.  I don't want to go into details, and I don't want to slander other people.  But let's just say that someone was in a sticky and hot situation, and they lied in order to shift blame to me.   And it was a he-said-she-said.  No way of proving.  If I did not already have a good enough reputation and standing in the eyes of authorities involved, as well as the good opinion from every other person who had situation to know, it could have cost me my current job, and effected many future jobs.  To clarify because I work in healthcare, let me say right now that no patient care was compromised, nothing illegal happened. But, they could have really hurt me.  But because of the fact that I have a good reputation, basically, my word was taken as more truthful.  That's not to say that there wasn't a lot of officially written statements from multiple people involved, and it didn't cost me a lot of nights of sleep.  This doesn't have any repercussions for my life now, and it is all solved.  But the person involved--let's just say that I'm still working on forgiveness. And it's weighing down my mind.  It is hurting me because of that.  In the end, this person didn't hurt me.  I have organized my life such that it couldn't hurt me.  That's what it comes down to.  My character, my professional abilities, and my work speaks for itself.  But, I am still holding on to this anger.  And this bitterness.  And THAT is hurting me.  I am letting it hurt me.  In French, grammatically you aren't mocked.  You mock yourself because of someone.  You aren't hurt.  You hurt yourself because of someone.  I need to become the subject of this sentence again.  Not the object.  But I don't know how to let it go.  So. Today, I am deciding to let it go. 

I also have been put in a position of moderating disagreements between multiple sets of friends, being the glue that holds together several teams of people in different parts of my life, and just generally holding things together.  And I don't even like to be around people! 

Today, I am decluttering my mind.  I am swearing off drama.  I am being positive.  I am forgiving.  And that's what Day 39 is for. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Over-analyzing Disney Movies: The Little Mermaid--Why Eric is White.

Image
I have recently noticed a trend of just purely over-analyzing Disney movies.  In this category, I also include the fascination with photoshopping Disney characters to swap genders, races, or eras, as well as making princesses have "realistic" body shapes (which is something I could write a whole other post about, and it wouldn't be pretty.  Spoiler alert:  I find it to be one of the most unempowering trends of recent years).  However, I sometimes wonder at how much people are reading into Disney movies.  Today, I'm going to over-analyze their over-analysis. I recently read that the fact that Eric is a white prince is a representation of how we white-wash racial expectations for our children.  I'm not even sure what that sentence means.  It seems to have a lot of buzz words.  But I'm going to show you today, using evidence from the film, why Prince Eric is, in fact, the correct color. (I will, however, say that Eric is the only Disney prince who legitimatel
Read more

Derevaun Seraun! Derevaun Seraun!

James Joyce is my kind of guy. He made puzzles that I like to think are just for me. He was a great lover of languages, and he is sometimes called the father of a literary technique called polyglotism. This is when you insert other languages in there. Just 'cuz. So, in James Joyce's wonderful story, "Eveline" there is a phrase that nobody knows what it is. Even to this day. "Derevaun Seraun! Derevaun Seraun!" Many people believe it to be corrupted Irish Gaelic. Needing a break from homework, I have approached this by taking the words and then transliterating them into Irish Gaelic, trying to create Irish Gaelic that would be spoken by someone of this status in this time in Ireland. Nationalist, but not educated enough to actually understand all the ins and outs of the language. I came up with two possible phrases that I find very probable. And I'm not pretending to solve the mystery. If Joyce experts over the years have not discovered the mean
Read more

What does it mean to be a Russell?

Image
As many know, most European families (not all, but most) have a coat of arms, a crest, a motto, all that good stuff. So, I decided to look a bit into what being a Russell means. And maybe I'll do the same for Hatches, because I am a Hatch too. The last name Russell is Scottish and means "Red-headed" and derives from the Norman name of Roussel. The Russells are a well-respected Highland Scot clan, complete with Scottish crest and tartan: The motto on the crest "virtus sine macula" means "Virtue without blemish." As Scotland incorporated more and more into England, the Russells became nobility in that world as well, and were thus presented with a coat of arms: And yes, the motto written on that one is "che sara sara." You've got to admit, that's pretty gosh-darn cool. It really does mean "Whatever will be, will be." And in honor of that:
Read more