40 Bags in 40 Days: Day 39

We are so close to going back to my old blog.  And I know that today's will sound weird, but this is actually what I planned.  Today, I decluttered my mind.

Some things have happened with my interactions with other people that have really been weighing down on me.  I don't want to go into details, and I don't want to slander other people.  But let's just say that someone was in a sticky and hot situation, and they lied in order to shift blame to me.   And it was a he-said-she-said.  No way of proving.  If I did not already have a good enough reputation and standing in the eyes of authorities involved, as well as the good opinion from every other person who had situation to know, it could have cost me my current job, and effected many future jobs.  To clarify because I work in healthcare, let me say right now that no patient care was compromised, nothing illegal happened. But, they could have really hurt me.  But because of the fact that I have a good reputation, basically, my word was taken as more truthful.  That's not to say that there wasn't a lot of officially written statements from multiple people involved, and it didn't cost me a lot of nights of sleep.  This doesn't have any repercussions for my life now, and it is all solved.  But the person involved--let's just say that I'm still working on forgiveness. And it's weighing down my mind.  It is hurting me because of that.  In the end, this person didn't hurt me.  I have organized my life such that it couldn't hurt me.  That's what it comes down to.  My character, my professional abilities, and my work speaks for itself.  But, I am still holding on to this anger.  And this bitterness.  And THAT is hurting me.  I am letting it hurt me.  In French, grammatically you aren't mocked.  You mock yourself because of someone.  You aren't hurt.  You hurt yourself because of someone.  I need to become the subject of this sentence again.  Not the object.  But I don't know how to let it go.  So. Today, I am deciding to let it go. 

I also have been put in a position of moderating disagreements between multiple sets of friends, being the glue that holds together several teams of people in different parts of my life, and just generally holding things together.  And I don't even like to be around people! 

Today, I am decluttering my mind.  I am swearing off drama.  I am being positive.  I am forgiving.  And that's what Day 39 is for. 

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