Book Review: Spellcaster

I couldn't find any good quotes in this one, so I just put the funniest ones:

“No men ever, you said." Verlaine leaned across the table, peering at him. "Mateo, are you maybe-well-transgender? Intersex? No prejudice here. Just support."
Mateo would have started thudding his face against the table in frustration if his pizza hadn't been in the way. "I'm a guy."
"We'll take your word for it.” 

 

"Except for that Cabot kid--Mateo Perez.  But he was just one big ol' ticking time bomb of crazy." 

"Apparently the cafeteria was completely devoid of magic.  This would come as no surprise to anyone who had eaten the meatloaf."

Let me tell you a story.  I learned that apparently, when a book is being published that is from a relatively unknown author, they hand out advance copies to random people, hoping that they will read it and tell their friends to read it, and then they sell books.  One day this past October or November, I was studying in the Wilk.  Someone walked up to me and the person with whom I was studying and said, "Would you like a free book?"

"Like a real book?  Sure.  We're college students.  We love free stuff."  It was an advance copy of this book, Spellcaster.

Usually, I come away from a book review saying, "It's worth a read."  This time, I say, "Don't even risk the brain cells that might die from the stupidity of this book." This has somewhere between 1 and -1 literary value.  On a scale of 100.  

Nadia Caldani is a witch.  A good witch, but a witch.  Witches, in this universe, are born with magic, having inherited it from their mothers.  Men can't have magical powers--and one of the four fundamental laws of witchcraft is that you don't tell men about witchcraft.  Mothers then teach their daughters to use their witchcraft.  But Nadia's mother has decided to ditch Nadia's family.  Nadia's father takes it as an opportunity to get a change of scenery and they move to Rhode Island.  Do we see this going anywhere?  Like Salem Witch Trial Escapee places? 

There, Nadia meets Verlaine, who serves very little purpose in the story as far as I can tell; Mateo, who has inherited the family curse of dreaming the future, which drives everyone who inherits it bonkers by the time they're done (they usually commit suicide); and other sundry characters.  She also meets the ultimate villain.  I could tell you her name, but I guess I'm not supposed to spoil things.  I said don't read it, but I can't actually stop you.  Unlike the villain, who could.  

The writing is not engaging, the plot is predictable, the characters are underdeveloped and cliche.  It's that kind of book where it tells us the four fundamental laws of witchcraft are 1) Don't tell men about witchcraft 2) Don't divine your future 3) Don't put curses upon people 4) Don't swear yourself to the One Beneath (essentially Satan).   And you just think, "Well, just the way those are written you can bet dimes to donuts that every single one of those rules will be broken by the time the book is done."

I do have to give it kudos in that I was positive Nadia's mother would come back at the end and say, "I never wanted to leave you.  I was abducted by Venutians (people who live on Venus)."  It actually turns out she is just a basket-case for a mother.  

There are supposed to be more books, and in order to preserve the villain for the next book, ridiculous loopholes occur, making you think, "Wait.  So, Nadia, Mateo and Verlaine did all that and accomplished exactly nothing?  In fact, they made it worse?! Geez, Grandpa, what'd you read me this for?"

So, I award it exactly one star.