The Beauty of Silence
Sorry that I haven't posted much. I moved and then was settling in. Plus, we had someone quit at work and are now down a night-shift scientist. We all take turns covering it during our seven off. My life is starting to return to some state of normalcy. Not quite there, but it's getting there.
However, this is a topic that came about through a couple of things that I've been thinking about. We have ignored the beauty of silence in the world today. And that is a sad thing.
The first thing that made me think about this is color personalities. I don't put much stock in a lot of those somewhat new-agey personality analyses, but I actually think this one might be somewhat right. The idea is this:
There are four types of people in this world: reds, blues, yellows and white. The colors are based on what primarily motivates that person's actions. Reds are motivated by power. Blues are motivated by right and wrong, or strong sense of justice. Yellows are motivated by the pursuit of fun and joy and social interaction. Whites are motivated by the pursuit of peace.
Me for example: I am a blue. A very blue blue. I used to think that I had some red as well because I can be argumentative and bossy and stubborn. But I was talking to my sister, who informed me that those can be blue traits. The difference is that reds are argumentative or bossy or stubborn because they have to be in charge, whereas blues are because they see something as morally non-negotiable. A major difference is this: do you argue to get your way, or argue to get the right thing? And if the answer that you argue to get the right thing--and if you learn in the argument that you're wrong and are okay with that--then you're actually a blue. So, it turns out I'm a blue.
Funny story: in college, I had a roommate who was driven nuts by the fact that if we disagreed on something factual, I would run to a computer and google it. She would say, "You just have to be right, don't you?" I don't have to be right. I just have to know what the right thing is. If I'm wrong, that is just fine. Don't worry. This roommate is one of my closest friends from college today. It didn't ruin our relationship. But it still drives her nuts.
I'm going to be honest, I don't think there's anything wrong with be a yellow, but it's just kind of this foreign concept of which I have no conception. But I can really respect whites. I'm not very white. But I wish I was.
Here's an example of white behavior: at work, the night shift scientists talk about color personalities a lot. There are only six of us, so we all know each other's colors and will bring it up in conversations when they are being the epitome of their color. Because of the way our shifts are staggered, each day, one night scientist leaves at 6:30 am, one at 7:30 am and one at 8:30 am.The 8:30 am-leaver therefore becomes a kind of a liaison between night and day shift. Consequently, I'm the 6:30 am leaver, but that means that I come in while the evening shift is still going, so I'm the liaison between night and evening shifts.
Yesterday at work, one of the scientists (a red) was bemoaning something that happened between the night shift and the day shift. We had started running a specific analyte on both analyzers instead of just one. We had documented that it had comparable results and valid calibration and quality control so that we could present it to the supervisors as being a policy that it could be run on either. However, then day shift would have to run the quality control on that analyzer everyday. The dayshift balked and it was no longer run on that analyzer. I mentioned, "Oh, I thought that x scientist (who is the 8:30 leaver) talked to (technical supervisor) about that, and (technical supervisor) said that she thought it was a good idea and she was going to make it policy."
The red said, "X scientist is the one that actually took it off. He said that he didn't care and just took it off."
I said with a sigh, "That's because he's a white and he'd rather give in than fight day shift about it."
The red was not pleased with that response. But she just kind of rolled her eyes.
This was very white. He had worked hard to get that analyte approved and he was one of the main advocates of the project amongst the night people. But he didn't want to fight about it. It wasn't worth a fight.
The biggest mistake I make as a blue, I believe, is to not respect a white's wishes. Whites will do anything to just keep peace. And as a blue, sometimes, I ignore that. Because I feel like they shouldn't. Whites can have their wants and desires trampled on and they don't much care, to be perfectly honest. They will just roll over and let them be trampled. And it's not that they are unhappy with that. They are happy to just give in, because it means that a fight has been avoided. Sometimes, I try to drag whites into fights because I feel like it's not right that they're being trampled. It's not just.
Anyways, I should just let them give in if they want to. They're happy that way. And I think that there's a profound beauty in that. It's the epitome of flexibility. And they've found happiness. How can we fault that? And who are we to say that they are wrong being happy? And yet, in the world today, we kind of have this perception that people that don't stand up for themselves are unhappy or that that's a bad thing.
I'm not saying that they should never stand up for themselves. While canning peaches earlier this week (I had to do it before the prices went up), I was watching the movie Perks of Being a Wallflower while I peeled and cut the peaches. It's one of the few instances of a movie being better than the book, in my opinion. But I bring this up because the character of Charlie is the extreme white that will never stand up for himself--to the extent of being abused and used. It's always about what makes other people happy or what they want, and never about him. And he's not happy. And that's a problem. But most whites aren't like that. They simply have come to realize that a lot of things simply aren't worth it. So, why do we have a problem with the whites?
The other thing that made me think about this is a conversation that my mom (who's a white, by the way) and I had probably a few months back about two songs: Brave by Sara Bareilles and Roar by Katy Perry (see below if you are not familiar with these songs). We discussed that the songs kind of bothered us. But Brave not as much as Roar. I think a lot of that is because Brave is in second person and deals more with a quiet stand-up for yourself or someone else if you need to. Whereas Roar is in first person, and about being loud and obnoxious because you can. There is a beauty in knowing when to be quiet. And knowing when to yield. And knowing what you do need to stand up for, and knowing when you just need to be still. You don't always need to roar.
However, this is a topic that came about through a couple of things that I've been thinking about. We have ignored the beauty of silence in the world today. And that is a sad thing.
The first thing that made me think about this is color personalities. I don't put much stock in a lot of those somewhat new-agey personality analyses, but I actually think this one might be somewhat right. The idea is this:
There are four types of people in this world: reds, blues, yellows and white. The colors are based on what primarily motivates that person's actions. Reds are motivated by power. Blues are motivated by right and wrong, or strong sense of justice. Yellows are motivated by the pursuit of fun and joy and social interaction. Whites are motivated by the pursuit of peace.
Me for example: I am a blue. A very blue blue. I used to think that I had some red as well because I can be argumentative and bossy and stubborn. But I was talking to my sister, who informed me that those can be blue traits. The difference is that reds are argumentative or bossy or stubborn because they have to be in charge, whereas blues are because they see something as morally non-negotiable. A major difference is this: do you argue to get your way, or argue to get the right thing? And if the answer that you argue to get the right thing--and if you learn in the argument that you're wrong and are okay with that--then you're actually a blue. So, it turns out I'm a blue.
Funny story: in college, I had a roommate who was driven nuts by the fact that if we disagreed on something factual, I would run to a computer and google it. She would say, "You just have to be right, don't you?" I don't have to be right. I just have to know what the right thing is. If I'm wrong, that is just fine. Don't worry. This roommate is one of my closest friends from college today. It didn't ruin our relationship. But it still drives her nuts.
I'm going to be honest, I don't think there's anything wrong with be a yellow, but it's just kind of this foreign concept of which I have no conception. But I can really respect whites. I'm not very white. But I wish I was.
Here's an example of white behavior: at work, the night shift scientists talk about color personalities a lot. There are only six of us, so we all know each other's colors and will bring it up in conversations when they are being the epitome of their color. Because of the way our shifts are staggered, each day, one night scientist leaves at 6:30 am, one at 7:30 am and one at 8:30 am.The 8:30 am-leaver therefore becomes a kind of a liaison between night and day shift. Consequently, I'm the 6:30 am leaver, but that means that I come in while the evening shift is still going, so I'm the liaison between night and evening shifts.
Yesterday at work, one of the scientists (a red) was bemoaning something that happened between the night shift and the day shift. We had started running a specific analyte on both analyzers instead of just one. We had documented that it had comparable results and valid calibration and quality control so that we could present it to the supervisors as being a policy that it could be run on either. However, then day shift would have to run the quality control on that analyzer everyday. The dayshift balked and it was no longer run on that analyzer. I mentioned, "Oh, I thought that x scientist (who is the 8:30 leaver) talked to (technical supervisor) about that, and (technical supervisor) said that she thought it was a good idea and she was going to make it policy."
The red said, "X scientist is the one that actually took it off. He said that he didn't care and just took it off."
I said with a sigh, "That's because he's a white and he'd rather give in than fight day shift about it."
The red was not pleased with that response. But she just kind of rolled her eyes.
This was very white. He had worked hard to get that analyte approved and he was one of the main advocates of the project amongst the night people. But he didn't want to fight about it. It wasn't worth a fight.
The biggest mistake I make as a blue, I believe, is to not respect a white's wishes. Whites will do anything to just keep peace. And as a blue, sometimes, I ignore that. Because I feel like they shouldn't. Whites can have their wants and desires trampled on and they don't much care, to be perfectly honest. They will just roll over and let them be trampled. And it's not that they are unhappy with that. They are happy to just give in, because it means that a fight has been avoided. Sometimes, I try to drag whites into fights because I feel like it's not right that they're being trampled. It's not just.
Anyways, I should just let them give in if they want to. They're happy that way. And I think that there's a profound beauty in that. It's the epitome of flexibility. And they've found happiness. How can we fault that? And who are we to say that they are wrong being happy? And yet, in the world today, we kind of have this perception that people that don't stand up for themselves are unhappy or that that's a bad thing.
I'm not saying that they should never stand up for themselves. While canning peaches earlier this week (I had to do it before the prices went up), I was watching the movie Perks of Being a Wallflower while I peeled and cut the peaches. It's one of the few instances of a movie being better than the book, in my opinion. But I bring this up because the character of Charlie is the extreme white that will never stand up for himself--to the extent of being abused and used. It's always about what makes other people happy or what they want, and never about him. And he's not happy. And that's a problem. But most whites aren't like that. They simply have come to realize that a lot of things simply aren't worth it. So, why do we have a problem with the whites?
The other thing that made me think about this is a conversation that my mom (who's a white, by the way) and I had probably a few months back about two songs: Brave by Sara Bareilles and Roar by Katy Perry (see below if you are not familiar with these songs). We discussed that the songs kind of bothered us. But Brave not as much as Roar. I think a lot of that is because Brave is in second person and deals more with a quiet stand-up for yourself or someone else if you need to. Whereas Roar is in first person, and about being loud and obnoxious because you can. There is a beauty in knowing when to be quiet. And knowing when to yield. And knowing what you do need to stand up for, and knowing when you just need to be still. You don't always need to roar.
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