Do you even watch TV? My down and dirty review of all of Television at once

Because of my deep and undying love of books (which seems to be getting worse, not better, as I get older), some people have asked me, "Do you even watch TV?"  Yes and no.  I don't actually own a TV.  And my parents don't actually own a TV.  So, I like movies.  I really enjoy movies a lot, to be honest.  But I don't watch much TV.  However, I do watch some on Hulu.  And when I was in college, there was a TV in my apartment.  My roommates tried to get me onto several shows.  Not many of them really stuck, to be honest.  And a lot of the shows that did stick aren't on anymore.  So, first some shows that I enjoyed while they lasted:

1) Monk
2) Psych
3) House until the third season ended and then it really jumped the shark and I stopped watching entirely after season five--which is sad because it was already in season six when I started watching it online.
4) Scrubs but not its reboot.
5) Last pre-reboot season of 24, though a lot of that was because my freshman year roommate LOVED it and so we always watched it together (we lived in a one-room dorm).  I had to know what happened, but I never went back and watched the other seasons.
6) Lost until it got weird in about season 3.  But I watched it to the end anyways because I still cared about the characters.  It just got weirder.
7) Chuck (another love of my freshman year roommate--we had very close taste in TV, I think)
8) Merlin  This was my little sister's fault



My roommates tried. You can't say they didn't.  Just a lot of them never stuck.  Shows that my roommates tried desperately to get me to like but I never really liked them (the ones I can think of):
1) The Mindy Project
2) That 70s Show
3) How I Met Your Mother
4) The Big Bang Theory (I'm sorry...it hit way to close too home.  I grew up in a family of nerds and engineers)
5) Hart of Dixie
6) Gray's Anatomy
7) America's Next Top Model
8) The Bachelor
9) Pretty Little Liars
10) The Walking Dead
11) Project Runway
12) Chicago Fire 
13) Glee


...This category actually has more, but I can't think of them.

There are some shows that I'd probably like, but they're just too big of a time investment at this point because they aren't the type of show that you can just watch any old-episode...story arcs aren't one episode long.  And I would have to start at the beginning.  But maybe I will at some point.

1) Once Upon a Time
2) Arrow
3) Sleepy Hollow
4) Reign
5) Downton Abbey
6) Castle
7) Elementary

 

Then we have the old shows I like that will never leave my world of love:
1) Hogan's Heroes
2) MASH
3) Gilligan's Island
4) The Beverly Hillbillies
5) Green Acres
6) Emergency...and I am not ashamed of that.
7) Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman
8) Early Edition


There are a few shows that I tried on Hulu and they were intriguing for a few episodes, but I was perfectly happy to just let them go once I watched all the episodes that were free on my initial binge-watch, and I never went back to when the new episodes left hulu plus into regular free hulu:

1) Trophy Wife: It was a funny one, but I don't know if I want to invest anything in it.
2) The Fosters: We had a love-hate relationship then, anyways...I don't think I'd ever go back.  It was kind of preachy and preachy on things I don't really go for anyways.
3) The Goldberg: It was kind of racy and not really that funny.
4) Surviving Jack: apparently Fox cancelled it.  I found it funny.
5) About a Boy:  I did enjoy this one, and could see myself reinvesting.

Then there are shows that are still running but really shouldn't be that I used to watch faithfully but they have now jumped the shark:

1) Royal Pains  I don't know when they jumped the shark, but they are totally out of ideas.
2) Bones My roommates succeeded.  But the Pelant story arc was awful.  If I opened the episode in Hulu and they started doing a "Previously on Bones..." that introduced Pelant or Ghost Killer, I wouldn't watch it.  That's how dumb I found it.  And then at the beginning of this season they officially jumped shark with a character kill.  They're done.  He's dead?  The show is dead to me.
3) Law and Order: SVU:  This was a success of my roommates.  I get that Christopher Meloni was done with the show, but I just can't feel it anymore with the new Nick Amaro character. The magic is gone, I think.  
4) NCIS  Another one my roommates succeeded with.  Unfortunately, Ziva left and I haven't felt the draw to go back.
5) Rookie Blue. The Sam-Andy will-they-won't-they just is getting ridiculous.  And when they killed off Jerry just for the hey of it?  It was indicative of their general lack of direction. Not a fan anymore
6) Covert Affairs:  Here's my advice for Crime/Spy Shows. Never have your characters go rogue from their agency.  It crashes the show. It helped crash Bones, it crashed Covert Affairs.



And then we have the shows that are still running today that I still watch.  Without further ado, the only shows on TV that I find to be worth the watch:

1)  The Middle (Comedy)
I really enjoy this show.

Main Premise: The lives of the Heck family.  A completely mediocre family in Indiana.

I keep thinking that it will have given its all at some point and be done. But it hasn't.  They keep on finding new and exciting and hilarious things for this family to learn and do and mess-up with.  It always feels fresh, and I like that it is family-friendly.

2) Cupcake Wars (Competition)

This show is so dumb and yet I love it.

Main Premise:  A competition of making cupcakes

 Cupcakes are kind of over-rated in my opinion. And It never ceases to amaze me that these people are supposed to be professional bakers but do things like mix up sugar and flour when they're mixing their recipes.  I know you're in a hurry.  And I know that making cupcakes is unforgiving to mistakes.  But I work in a hospital lab.  Very time-sensitive.  Very unforgiving to mistakes.  And I'm not saying we never mess up.  But we don't mess up 1/2048 of the time that you do, and when we do, we realize it the second we do and fix it before it escalates. And, having gone to one of the bakeries that won (it's in Sandy), they taste like...cupcakes.  But I think it's a fun concept.

3) Forever (Crime Drama)
A brand new show that I thought sounded good, so with the endorsement of one of the lab assistants at work, I checked it out.  It was fantastic.

Main Premise: Henry Morgan is a NYC medical examiner who never dies. Literally.  He's been alive since the late 1700s.  But he's 35. Not just looks 35.  He is 35.  Because whenever he dies, he's reborn into a large body of water as a 35-year-old.  But he keeps all his memories and knowledge and the scar from his first death in like 18-something-teen when he was a ship doctor that got shot and thrown into the sea.  This means that he has a lot of knowledge, a lot of experience, and has a had a long time to see people, the world and everything else.  So, now he solves murders.  He weirds out the NYPD with his reasoning (i.e.  "She didn't jump off the bridge.  She went backwards off the bridge. In all the jumpers I've seen,  I've never seen a suicide go backwards.  They just don't do it.") but he's usually right.

I love the wit and the premise. There's some slightly dark humor (it's a little death-obsessed...he's a little death obsessed), but I actually like dark humor.  Everything about it, for now, is fantastic.

4) Shark Tank (Competition)
I don't know why I like this show.  But I do.

Main Premise:  Entrepreneurs try to pitch their products/companies to billionaire venture capitalists ("sharks").  The Sharks then decide whether or not to invest with their own money.

I never thought I would like this show, because business does not interest me.  Sales is one of those things that if I were starving it would be a "Sales? Prostitution?  Sales?  Prostitution?...Tough choice."   (Don't worry, I'd go for sales...but it would hard.  I might choose to starve).  But I really like this show. It's fun to see the products, but also watch the genius that goes on with these billionaires choosing if they want to invest. Just because I'd hate it isn't a reason to not recognize that there's a lot of talent that goes into business and investing.

5) Jeopardy! (Game Show)

If you know me at all, you'd know why I love this show.  And if I have to explain the premise of Jeopardy!  you've got issues, and we can't be friends anymore.

6) Graceland (Crime/Spy Drama)

Main Premise:  Graceland is a house that is the living quarters of under-cover agents of many agencies (FBI, DEA and ICE).  They solve crimes together, but also have to live with each other.  Mike Warren has just graduated and is now a brand-new FBI agent, wanting to prove himself.   He learns a lot from the other agents, but also learns some secrets.

I sometimes wonder if the entire point of this show was "That guy who played Enjolras in the Les Mis movie gosh-darned attractive and actually pretty talented.  We should make him a show." But for now, it's a good show (and he is gosh-darned attractive). I'm afraid of it doing what I said Spy and Crime shows should never do in the next season, but for now, it's in the clear.  And maybe it will be the one that lives through it.

7) Chopped (Competition)
So over-dramatic.  But I'm okay with that for some reason.

Main Premise: Chefs cook a 3-course meal, with one person being eliminated every round. They get judged on taste, creativity and presentation.  But there's a snag. Every round, they get a basket of ingredients.  They must use all of the ingredients in the basket, but can use as much or as little of each as they choose.  Examples of the baskets:  prunes, animal crackers and cream cheese. Or scallops, collard greens, anchovies and sour cream.  Or celery,  blood oranges, frozen pie crust and jaggery

I just like watching the mess happen.  And sometimes it looks legitimately good.

8) Melissa and Joey (Comedy)
Hilarious show.

Main Premise:  Melissa is a working professional who now, since her sister went to jail for a ponzi scheme, gets to take care of her niece and nephew.  But that's not really in her master-plan.  She ends up hiring Joey, who is a corporate accountant that was ruined in that same ponzi scheme (though he was not responsible for it and had no criminal action in it), to be her live-in nanny.  He's surprisingly good at it, but they're both characters.

I knew from the beginning that they'd get together and I was afraid that that would be the end of the show when it happened.  But it's happened and it still feels as good as ever. So, crisis averted?  It's funny and clever. The comedic timing is absolutely superb, and it really feels like they're trying to recover the golden days of comedy.

9) Wipeout (Gameshow)

Mindless, but wonderful.

Main Premise: People go through obstacle courses and get hit by things and fall off things.

It's so slapstick and so unintelligent.  But I like it.  And I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that their commentary is so good.


Honorable Mentions:   

1) Master Chef, Jr. Not my style to watch forever, but I like it and think it's legitimately good. It's like Master Chef, but they're all kids.  And they're amazing.  Dude, most seven-year-olds don't even know what tzatziki is, but you're now making it. Most parents don't allow their nine-year-olds to touch a paring knife, and there you are with your fancy knife-work filleting a flounder.

2) America's Got Talent...I only watch the auditions.  Then I stop caring.  So I can't really put it on the list.


Agree? Disagree? Others you think I should try based on the ones I like?