Online Dating

A woman in my ward has been pushing me to try "ldssingles.com."  My first response was, "I'm not that old and I'm not that desperate."  She kept on saying, "Just make a profile.  Look at the matches, if nothing looks promising, you don't have to pay the membership to actually pursue the relationships."  So, I made a profile.  It was interesting.  I did have a couple of thoughts about finding a compatible partner that were brought on by the compatibility questions, but in the end, the biggest achievement is that I learned these five things:

1. If you have "bruthuh" anywhere in your self-description, you are immediately out of consideration.

2. Why would you ever match me with someone 46-years-old?  That doesn't work with the five-finger rule, and that doesn't work with the divide-by-two-and-add-seven rule.  Maybe this is for the same reason that people in my ward have tried to set me up with their 32-year-old chiropractor.  If we're both single, we must be compatible, right?  However, is it bad if I think the biggest compatibility problem is not the 32-year-old-part but the chiropractor-part?

3. Yes.  I'm fine with being a step-parent!  Let's move on.  I swear they asked me this question at least seven time in at least three different ways.  Then again, maybe the fact that I'm okay with being a step-parent explains the ages in #2.

4. Similar to #2, but different, why would you match me with a baby-faced 18-year-old?  I'm not a cougar.  I mean, I am a Cougar because I graduated from BYU.  But I'm not that kind of a cougar.  On an unrelated note, what are 18-year-old boys doing on ldssingles?  If I'm not that old and desperate, why are they?

5. "Ugh, I'll do this later," is not a bio, nor does it help your chances of getting someone.  It shows me that you are both lazy and a procrastinator, not to mention that you have little enough class to publish a profile like that.

Just some things that I learned.

Comments

Amy R said…
Interesting, I think? Kind of creepy, too.
February 2, 2014 at 4:31 AM
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