You Don't Know
In the past, I've talked about how people have obsessions with not doing what they consider to be "judging." I don't have a lot of good feelings for this movement. But today, I acknowledge the other side. This stems from an experience I had the other day. As I have said, my major is very small, and thus very tight-knit and family-like. One of the members of our "family" recently had a lot of health problems, such that she eventually had to drop all her classes and go home. During the time when she was trying to keep it all together and stay at BYU for the semester, our major-family rallied around her. Get-well cards abounded, and people pooled their class notes together to give to her. It was a good thing. I think it was a show of charity.
However, a few weeks ago, another member of our "family" was not well. He chose, however, to mostly keep it to himself. Generally, unless asked, he would not discuss it. He would come to class as much as possible, and discuss privately with the professors to make up lab work that he was not able to come and get done. He would get the lecture notes for those he missed, and then tear the textbook apart in order to understand them. Overall, most of the major were not even aware that he was sick.
One day, someone said off-hand, "Where is [sick person]?" Someone else said, "Ahh, he never comes to class! Doesn't surprise me that he's not here today. He just decides not to." I happened to know that that day he happened to be "deciding not to come" due to the fact that he was undergoing heart ablation that day. It took everything inside of me to not whip my head around and tell that person. But if he had wanted the whole major to know, he would have told them. So, I kept my big mouth shut.
I am not saying that either of these two class members with health problems acted in a right or wrong way. They both chose different, acceptable paths of how to deal with their struggles at the moment. However, it did teach me something about making assumptions about people's motivations. You don't know why people do the things they do. And to assume that you do doesn't help anything at all. If you are wondering why someone is doing what they're doing, either satisfy yourself knowing that you don't know, or just ask them.
However, a few weeks ago, another member of our "family" was not well. He chose, however, to mostly keep it to himself. Generally, unless asked, he would not discuss it. He would come to class as much as possible, and discuss privately with the professors to make up lab work that he was not able to come and get done. He would get the lecture notes for those he missed, and then tear the textbook apart in order to understand them. Overall, most of the major were not even aware that he was sick.
One day, someone said off-hand, "Where is [sick person]?" Someone else said, "Ahh, he never comes to class! Doesn't surprise me that he's not here today. He just decides not to." I happened to know that that day he happened to be "deciding not to come" due to the fact that he was undergoing heart ablation that day. It took everything inside of me to not whip my head around and tell that person. But if he had wanted the whole major to know, he would have told them. So, I kept my big mouth shut.
I am not saying that either of these two class members with health problems acted in a right or wrong way. They both chose different, acceptable paths of how to deal with their struggles at the moment. However, it did teach me something about making assumptions about people's motivations. You don't know why people do the things they do. And to assume that you do doesn't help anything at all. If you are wondering why someone is doing what they're doing, either satisfy yourself knowing that you don't know, or just ask them.
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