Christmas!
I am a huge Christmas lover. In fact, small children have asked me whether or not Santa Claus is my father. Kind of funny, considering my father is not a Christmas-lover, really at all. But, Christmas is very important to me. I wish that Christmas decorations could be up for all of November and December. Sadly, there are people who for some bizarre reason are very, very adamant that Christmas doesn't start until after Thanksgiving. This wouldn't bother as much if it weren't for the fact that they seem to think that they are somehow better than me because they wait on Christmas. As if they were some sort of a Divine Defender of Christmas, and by me trying to celebrate it, I am somehow threatening their charge. I find that people are nicer, kinder and happier when there are Christmas decorations up. People are cheerier when the radios are playing, "Peace on Earth, good will to men," and "O Come, O Come Immanuel," as opposed to when the radios are playing, "Never had much faith in love or miracles," or "Let's make the most of the night like we're gonna die young," or even worse things. So, why am I the villain?
This being said, there are a couple of Christmas songs that I simply cannot tolerate.
1. Charlie Brown Christmas, "Christmas Time is Here."
I cannot stand this song. Frankly, it makes me feel as though I am being stalked by a choir of creepy little Ghosts of Christmas Past
2. Last Christmas
This song is repetitive, and obnoxious. And I might be able to forgive the repetitiveness if it were repeating good lyrics. But, the lyrics started bad, and I don't need to hear them again. One of the other American Heritage TAs described this song as, "Last Christmas, I gave you my heart. But the very next day, your body rejected the transplant, and you died." I think that would be a better song.
3. Christmas in the Northwest
So, those of you who are not from the Pacific Northwest may have never heard this song. Count yourselves lucky. But, if you really need to hear it, I will include a link. Basically, the song is talking about how it is better to not have White Christmases. False. And it's okay to just admit that that is part of Christmas that you'll always miss in the Northwest. When we were discussing this issue in the research lab, our PhD student from Australia summarized it as, "In Australia, Christmas comes in the summer, but we still pretend that there is a faint possibility of snow coming, and us having a White Christmas. We still sing 'Let it Snow,' and still put blow-up snowmen in our front yards."
4. Christmas Canon
I don't feel like I have to explain myself. This song is frankly obnoxious.
5. Baby it's Cold Outside
People constantly tell me how this is a sweet and gorgeous song about just letting yourself have fun on the holidays. Firstly, when did that become the purpose of the holidays? Secondly, he is telling her that she has to stay and she notices, "Hey, what's in this drink?" I see nothing sweet, gorgeous or fun about date rape.
Dis-honorable Mention: Little Drummer Boy
I make this a Dishonorable Mention because I found recently that it is not the song that is terrible. It is the way that it is sung. You have to draw out the vowels, and not the consonants. And then it's not so bad. Otherwise, you sound like a snow blower. Also, the Mannheim Steamroller version is awesome. But, here's a version that works (and a house that synchronized their lights to it):
So, Merry Christmas. Listen to Christmas music. As early as you like. But not the above songs.
This being said, there are a couple of Christmas songs that I simply cannot tolerate.
1. Charlie Brown Christmas, "Christmas Time is Here."
I cannot stand this song. Frankly, it makes me feel as though I am being stalked by a choir of creepy little Ghosts of Christmas Past
2. Last Christmas
This song is repetitive, and obnoxious. And I might be able to forgive the repetitiveness if it were repeating good lyrics. But, the lyrics started bad, and I don't need to hear them again. One of the other American Heritage TAs described this song as, "Last Christmas, I gave you my heart. But the very next day, your body rejected the transplant, and you died." I think that would be a better song.
3. Christmas in the Northwest
So, those of you who are not from the Pacific Northwest may have never heard this song. Count yourselves lucky. But, if you really need to hear it, I will include a link. Basically, the song is talking about how it is better to not have White Christmases. False. And it's okay to just admit that that is part of Christmas that you'll always miss in the Northwest. When we were discussing this issue in the research lab, our PhD student from Australia summarized it as, "In Australia, Christmas comes in the summer, but we still pretend that there is a faint possibility of snow coming, and us having a White Christmas. We still sing 'Let it Snow,' and still put blow-up snowmen in our front yards."
4. Christmas Canon
I don't feel like I have to explain myself. This song is frankly obnoxious.
5. Baby it's Cold Outside
People constantly tell me how this is a sweet and gorgeous song about just letting yourself have fun on the holidays. Firstly, when did that become the purpose of the holidays? Secondly, he is telling her that she has to stay and she notices, "Hey, what's in this drink?" I see nothing sweet, gorgeous or fun about date rape.
Dis-honorable Mention: Little Drummer Boy
I make this a Dishonorable Mention because I found recently that it is not the song that is terrible. It is the way that it is sung. You have to draw out the vowels, and not the consonants. And then it's not so bad. Otherwise, you sound like a snow blower. Also, the Mannheim Steamroller version is awesome. But, here's a version that works (and a house that synchronized their lights to it):
So, Merry Christmas. Listen to Christmas music. As early as you like. But not the above songs.
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