Book Review, Bordering on a Public Service Announcement: The Notebook

“You are the answer to every prayer I've offered. You are a song, a dream, a whisper, and I don't know how I could have lived without you for as long as I have.”   (puke)

I hated the movie of The Notebook.  It might be one of the worst movies ever made.  Why?  Honest Trailers does a good job of summing it up here.  So, I was told, "You have to read the book."  I'm willing to try.  I'm trying to develop humility.  So, even though The Notebook  seems to always end up on the lists of "The Movie Was Actually Better,"  I did it.  For the good of the public, please read, and take heed of my words.  Please.

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to die by fluffy kitten?  That's pretty much what it was like reading this book.  Thankfully, it is fast and short.  And, to be honest, if you take it as one big comedy making fun of books like The Notebook, it's actually quite good.  At work when it was during dead time (between the hours of about 1 am and 3 am), I read this book.  One of the other scientists noted that I probably shouldn't be laughing so hard at The Notebook.  I explained to both of the other scientists that I didn't like chick-lit, but I was trying hard, too.   Basically, what I said was that Nicholas Sparks had contributed more bad movies to this world than any other single author to ever live. One of the lab assistants told me that if I'd ever been in love before, I'd love them.  I insisted that I had been in love before.  The other female scientist (who is married and has grown children) agreed with me--she was in love and didn't like them.  The male scientist on, who is also married, said, "I am in love. That's why I have to watch those stupid movies."

A summary of the book:  Noah and Allie are these people in North Carolina.  They fall in love one summer when they're teenagers.  Then, they part ways.  Noah writes Allie a bunch of letters for awhile, but since she never writes back, he assumes that she doesn't love him.  So, he "moves on," but actually doesn't.  Then fourteen years later, Allie is engaged.  But for some reason that isn't really 100% clear, she decides to go and see Noah again.  That's when we find out that her mother hid the letters from Allie, because, though she liked Noah as a person, she thought that it was a fling for Allie, and Noah wasn't really in her social class.  So, her mother thought it'd be better for Allie to just forget him.  But, Allie goes back, and then all the "squee" ensues.  It's like eating corn-syrup.  Then, they have romantic moments, and have "a night together."  Do you like my euphemism?  There may be children present.  Now she has to choose between an awesome guy in her social class, and Noah.  Who is basically female desire incarnate.

I would have nothing great to say about this book, except for the fact that it was entertaining at times...in a way that it wasn't supposed to be.  And Noah does sound pretty attractive. Other than that, it is one big corny, sappy, over-dramatic load of trash.  Oh, I know, I know.  Saccharine.  That's a word I love but don't find much occasion to use.  But I found an occasion.

Now for my public service announcement:  If you value your lunch, don't read this.  While reading it, we got the ER calling us, asking us to analyze vomit for blood.  That was more appealing than this.

One star for the nearly-vomit-inducing-passed-gag-me-with-a-spoon The Notebook.